RECOVERING FROM GRIEF -  

Iris Cutler, M.Ed., M.S.C

THE RECOVERY PROCESS:- Recovery from Grief is normal.

(The only cure for grief is grieving!)

THE COURAGE TO GRIEVE:  allowing oneself to experience the pain of grief and doing whatever is needed to express it….crying, anger, rage, etc.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL:   the grieving process takes time, and your progress does not happen in a “straight line”. The healing process has progressions and regressions. Different stages are experienced and re-experienced…and that’s okay.  Have patience with yourself, and be sure to take care of yourself physically through rest, good nutrition, less demands on yourself.

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT:  important to have loving friends and family members to “be” there for you…in whatever way you need. An emotional wound is real, disabling and painful. It is okay to be taken care of for awhile. Seek the support of others. Join support groups, such as Compassionate Friends* for those who have lost children, and Widow and Widowers groups, when you are ready.

*The Compassionate Friends, Inc., P.O. Box 3696,

Oak Brook, IL, 60522 – toll free (877) 969-0010 - 

Email:  - Website:  http://www.compassionatefriends.org 

KEEP DECISION MAKING AT A MINIMUM

RE-AFFIRM YOUR BELIEFS…this may include religious or philosophical concepts in which you have faith. Use any body of knowledge which you find comforting: re-explore it, lean on it, grow from it, enjoy it.

SUICIDE:  suicidal thoughts natural symptom of pain. No need to act on them.  If impulses are getting out of hand, call 911 and ask for suicide prevention agency.  Seek professional help.

ATTRIBUTES AND STRENGTHS that help us restore ourselves more quickly after an emotional crisis;

BELIEF IN AND WILLINGNESS TO HEAL.

ABILITY TO CHALLENGE  negative beliefs and create new positive Affirmations.

COURAGE to grieve, to experience and face our feeling, and to go on with life.

PATIENCE  with ourselves and with the process.

EMOTIONAL RESILIANCE…the ability to bounce back and go on. Tends to increase, rather than decrease, as we age.

PERSEVERANCE OR ENDURANCE:            having the faith that staying with whatever we experience will get us through.

A CAPACITY TO DISTANCE…the ability to step back and view life from afar.  The ability to move out of the intensity of the feelings, to gain perspective and move ahead.

A SENSE OF HUMOR: it’s okay to laugh at life sometimes and to take pain less seriously, even if only for a moment.

ABILITY AND WILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE…SELF AND OTHERS

STAYING FOCUSED…AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE…TO YOUR MOMENT TO MOMENT EXPERIENCES, IN THE HERE AND NOW!

(practice of meditation teaches the mind how to do this)