They killed his goldfish,
But in twenty four hours
They'll pay with their lives.

He totalled ten cars
Doing ninety through fences
But he's a good cop.

Shooting one small beam,
He brought the building down
And squashed the bad guys.

The don turned sixty.
My truck smashed through his drug den.
Happy birthday, scum!

Twisting his pinky
I dislocated his spine
As Ling Tsu taught me.

Standing and shooting
On the roofs of speeding cars
Thugs and heroes duel

Skiing is less fun
With seven toughs on the slopes
Trying to shoot you.

You blew up my house,
But C-4 didn't stop me.
Eat this bazooka!

When my brakes blew out
I leaped to a second car
And jumped the canyon.

Sporting machine guns,
Roller coaster hijackers
Terrorized the park.

They found the body
Naked in the resevoir.
The mouth held two keys.

We had a few laughs.
But you found my stolen loot.
Say your prayers, baby.

She thought the hit man
Would feed hubby to the worms
But cops heard her plans.

The murderer sneered
Till they showed him the fibers
That matched his jacket.

Enron has been robbed!
Someone burned through their steel walls
And stole pensions back.

Beneath the floorboards,
The killer hid the body.
Termites revealed it.

Bound in the basement,
She cut the ropes with her nails,
And quickly escaped.

Searchlights swept the woods
As the K-9 cops pursued
The crime lord's blood hounds.

My elderly aunt
Shot a door-to-door con man.
She waits for the noose.

Hairballs at his home
Matched hairballs at the crime scene.
His cat betrayed him!

She became pregnant
By the secret lover of
Her daughter's boyfriend.

He taught her to love
Imbued her life with beauty
And died of cancer.

They left childhood farms
To earn degrees in fine arts
And discovered sex.

His dark obsession
With the white rogue elephant
Led to their divorce.

She loved her roses
More than she loved her family
Soon, she grew lonely.

Industry's titan
Couldn't buy a perfect world
So he shot himself.

Shattered by blindness
She found love, peace, and patience
Thanks to her guide dog.

Ted's cocaine problem
Poisoned more than his marriage.
Death licks at his brain.

Kayla quit drinking
And learned to love and cherish
Her bipolar mother.

When in Singapore,
Bill stole, then faced his sentence,
Caning on the butt!

Brad loved the city,
But summer at his aunt's ranch
Taught him to love life.

Oogie the pink sock
Protected little Sally
From the closet goons.

When Professor Mouse
Started up his cheese machine
All of Mouse Land cheered.

Lost in the forest
Denise searched for a way home
Helped by her pet wolf.

When his uncle drowned
Young Bjorn sailed the ship alone
Across the rough seas.

Oscar the Otter,
Gave Mrs. Otter some fish.
Then they shared some tea.

A living snowman
Found our lawn one Chrismas night
And made an angel.

Tina found the map
That showed the secret ice caves
Where mammoths still lived.

Alvin's new genie
Looked so much like a football
We used it in games.

Should Donna give up dance
To become a foot doctor
Just like her mother?

Hilda's breast armor
Easily bent and shattered
Zagnor's oaken spear.

Alone and unarmed
Thog seized the mighty dragon
By its red-hot throat.

And elder farm gnome
Trained unicorns for battle
And skewered his foes.

With the ruby blade
The wizard's young apprentice
Slew the goblin's spawn.

In the Glade of Time
The opalescent orchids
Whisper lost secrets.

Elves and emerald moss
Infiltrate our neighborhood.
Only I can see them.

He seeks the mermaids
Because women of the land
Have no scales or fins.

We trees have magicks
To blight the swift unseen ones
Who would kill our kind.

On stone engravings
Trolls flood runes with molten gold
To call fire gods.

Human reflections
Have voted to go on strike.
We can't see ourselves.

Underneath the bed
Things wait for the right moment
To suck out my eyes.

Their tongues taste my skin
Their teeth slice and bleed my flesh.
Vampires love me.

My scream is a rasp
Machines keep my head alive
I have no body.

My tiny baby
Claws and bites, killing kittens.
The devil is born.

A curse has claimed me
From the boils on my stomach
Evil snakes now hatch.

Flowers sedate me.
Leaves hungrily grip my skin
Digesting my flesh.

They walk the halls,
Phosphorescent rotting shapes.
They want us dead too.

I'm not really dead.
Don't embalm and bandage me.
Don't gouge out my brain.

Squeezed in the darkness,
Smothered as my flesh dissolves
In the python's gut.

Werewolves attack us
Ripping open abdomens
Chewing intestines.

After they quarreled
He begged her forgiveness.
Her bosom trembled.

In Congo jungles,
They fought and loved like lions
Then lay close, fulfilled.

By tropical seas
Summer heat warmed lovers' skin
As coconuts fell.

Cathy's promotion
Stirred his leather three-piece heart.
Corporate lovers merged.

On the mansion stairs
The master scorned her advance
But soon relented.

A chef courted her,
Plying her with cakes and pies.
Her bodice soon burst.

When he stopped drinking
And fighting and shooting cats,
Her love grew boundless.

Wind surfing rought seas
They embraced on their surf board
And, for love, wiped out.

Mildred's husky arms
Gripped him in a vice of love
Slowing his breathing.

As he was leaving,
She played their song on bagpipes,
And his heart melted.

Bird people from Xhar
Blast their anti-proton guns
At the Toad Tyrants.

I am an android.
The pit crews I need each week
Give me mother love.

We move near light speed.
Observers back at Earth base
Say it keeps us young.

Computers will rule.
They like red tape and ledgers
Better than we do.

The eye store sells eyes
For infrared sight and more.
Buy your third eye now.

You turn me purple
And love me with tentacles.
Can't we just be friends?

Mutant polar bears
Have gained human intellect.
We are their livestock.

We went to our jobs
Strangely calm when we found out
Our sun will soon die.

Nano-tech sponges
Socialize while they clean sinks.
Look! Baby sponges!

Our sunlit green skin
Nourishes and pleasures us
Now that we are plants.

If that hot dog cart
Reaches the subway entrance
Nukes will detonate.

The disturbed train man
Forgot his medication.
How soon will trains crash?

Footsteps down the hall
Approach as she locks the door
And raises the knife.

A cruel assassin
Lurks among the White House staff.
No one believes me!

Our submarine sinks
Toward crush depth in the abyss.
The rudder is jammed.

The secret police
Check each rider on this bus.
You have no papers.

As the guards take aim,
The razor wire snares us.
The dogs are coming!

Heaving the body,
He threw it down the stair well
And turned to see you.

The mine shaft cave-in
Trapped us with too little air.
What's that? An earth quake?

The bears in these woods
Like to gorge on human meat.
Behind you, twigs snap.

Them sheep destroy grass.
Them shepherds have got to go.
Gun them down today.

They burned down my ranch.
I tracked them to the dry gulch
And shot them all dead.

The young toughs drew fast.
The old lawman drew faster
And blew their heads off.

Our wagons got lost.
The Death Valley sun beats down.
How long will we live?

Some fool spooked the cows.
Longhorns thundered to our town.
Our town got run down.

When Bad Tom came back,
Townsfolk hid in the saloon,
But the sheriff shot him.

We're wild west gunmen.
We booze, fight, and shoot up bars
And we're the good guys.

Near old bullet holes
Arrow shafts surround my head.
Wish this hat could talk.

The bounty hunters
Chased a horse thief to our town,
But we hung him first.

The Wild West is done.
The lawmen who tamed these streets
Sleep well on boot hill.

He fights crime with tubules.
His arm, severed in a fight
Became Starfish Boy.